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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Talking Sea Creatures In Kota Kinabalu


The stone fish is staring out his aquarium like a delirious sea creature high on helium when he spotted two travel bloggers, one a Chinese looking dude and the other one a semi-Chinese looking dude with a flair of Spanish blood walked inside the "Old Village Seafood Restaurant" in Kota Kinabalu.

Stone Fish: Well, what do we have here. I hope they'll be the one to free me of my misery in this small enclosed space I'm in right now, but hmm they don't seem interested in shelling out 10.00RM for a 100 grams of myself. They just taking pictures.

Zibra Shell: Roger Clemens on that Stone, those dudes, they don't look like the seafoods kind of guy. They just order them Tiger Beers, so looks like you're gonna be there for quite some time. Me? I got myself ordered by that cute family sitting over there. I saw them point me out to the waiter. 

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Deep Sea Crab: Hold your seahorses my friends. They pointed out to us, seems like these people are not adventurous enough to try silly Stone Fish and Zibra Shells. Oh man, I miss my homies back in Sabah sea. I was just looking for my pendant in the sand when a bunch of them human beings caught me.

Mantis Shrimp #1: I've been in this freaking water bottle for over a year now, damn servers do not follow the 'first in - first out' rule. Someone comes in, someone orders a few of us, that someone then gets plucked out ahead of me. What the f*ck, I was here long time than #7 over there on a bowl on table 8 and I'm still here.

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Mantas Shrimp #12: Number 1 that means, you still have a chance to escape. Being alive means life and hope goes on.

Mantas Shrimp #1: Escape where? crawl myself out of here then out the pavement, cross the road and into the sea? sounds easy but they drive right hand here. I might look the opposite way and might get crushed by a Proton car.

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Squid: Don't rush it fellas, soon enough someone will take us out of this misery. It's either death or the ocean. I, myself is chilling here with the ice. Freaking cold like it was the Antartica.

Deep Sea Crab: And you are?

Squid: Just call me squid. Squid Mo' Webb. I used to play football in the Sulu Sea Invitational Cup.

Deep Sea Crab: Nice to have you here young fella

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Stone Fish: Anyway, you know what place is this? looks kinda lively at night. 

Lobster: We are at what they call the "Old Village Seafood Restaurant" at Sedco Complex in Kampung Air in Kota Kinabalu. 


Simply Fish: uhm OKAY!

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Mantas Shrimp #69: I vetoed that 'first in first out rule' I'm effing 69 I'll die of lack of oxygen before I get picked out of this aquarium. At least I wanna die with guns a-blazing on a cooking pot. Yep hardcore way to go.

*Out in the background someone shouted a joke "What sits at the bottom of the sea and shriver?"
Tilapia: Stone Fish?


Stone Fish: WTF, hey excuse myself mister Tilapia, looks who is talking right about here? You think you're special? go check out each supermarket's seafood section see if you can find another stone fish? I'm a rare dude. People go here to eat rare sea creatures, I mean only a fool would go here and order a plateful of Tilapia.


Lobster: Enough you guys, so who asked that question? so what sits at the bottom of the sea and shrivers?"


King Lobster: I know the answer to that, I lived a good three years in one. It's a "Nervous Wreck" that's right, went and eloped with the missus right after my studies and we lived in this one Spanish era galleon ship off the coast of Celebes sea. A magical wreck, paradise underneath the sea. Those were the best years of my life haaaaay. I remember we were supposed to hitch on a whale so we could go spend holidays to Portugal


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Tiger Prawn: Okay king lobster, aside from your 'missus' what is the wettest animal in the world?

King Lobster: of course every sea creatures duh! we live in the freaking sea. Okay since it is a joke then go ahead make me laugh my ass off.

Tiger Prawn: It's a 'reindeer'

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Zibra Shell: Ahem, somebody hold my shell I might kill someone. Do not ever repeat that joke again Tiger, unless you can go out of your cell and get us some Tiger Beers then you're forgiven for reciting a corny joke.

Deep Sea Crab: Huh someone is taking pictures of me, the two guys with the big camera kinda unlike the ones used by those National Geography guys I saw years ago. Come'on guys say "Claw" put a smile on that camera.

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 Mantis Shrimp # 4: This is actually cool, wish we wear this kind of thing in the ocean before. I'd probably have less concussions if i had one of these.


Mantis Shrimp #8: I wish someone orders me and had me cooked with lemon juice and pineapple.


King Lobster: Me, all I wanna be is be with my pretty missus, but that would be next to impossible right now, I have accepted my fate and will go out with a bang. Fry me on a frying pan you lobster suckers out there. Hell yeah.

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Tilapia: I adios, amigos creatures, I overheard those two dudes with a camera ordering fried tilapia. Guess what I'm the only one here. 


Stone Fish: What the?
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13 comments:

Chris said...

There's something really fascinating about a seafood market. So many things to see. I used to love wandering around them in Korea.

Dee said...

LOL @ "What the?"

Markyramone said...

Me too, Here in the Philippines there's many seafood markets and restaurants too, but Its my first time to see "Stone Fish" and "Zibra Shell" in one, waiting to be cooked. Wonder what it tastes like. But we're kinda broke when we went here so we just drank Tiger Beer haha.

lakwatsera de primera said...

I didn't know they were literally talking fish, the banter between the stone fish and the tilapia was hilarious ;)

Markyramone said...

@claire - yeah I was surprised too when I hear em talking like we do. The Mantis shrimp are cute though.

@Dee - I wanna see you laugh in October lol

LaiMarie | PinayTravelista said...

ahahahaha.. you have one great imagination Marky.. Mantis #4 was really funny.. poor them but glad they like that plastic bottles they were in.. LOL

Marcos said...

nervous wreck ... hahaha... good one marky

Dee said...

:p I'm easy. You know what I mean.

pandelicious said...

It's so cuuuuuuuuuute!!! :D

Especially the segue, more so the Uhm, Okay.
Who does that marky??? Who????? :D

Markyramone said...

@Lauren - got the "Uhm Okay" expression from you of course haha.

@Lai - haha thanks, thanks to a boring day at the office too.

@Marcos - yeah like the shipwreck we saw at Apo Reef lol

@Dee - lets see about that haha

Chyng said...

aaww, sad lives of these yummy creatures..

Sailor said...

Sounds like a delicious dinner!
Cruise Pictures

Ed said...

adik tong post na toh marky. haha. only you can come up with fishy conversations like these! thumbs up.

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